The truck is packed with all of our gear and we’re headed West into where the sun sets in brilliant yellows, oranges, and reds. I take a deep breath and let my hand feel the wind as we drive and the weight of “life” gently flows out of me mile after sweet mile.
Feeling this weight move off my shoulders, I think about a conversation I just had about how people are doing right now. I feel lucky to have a husband that I can talk to, friendships that support each other, and my son who’s adapting pretty well.
My attention was recently drawn to reading about self-resilience and the emotional capacity of people during lock-downs and the “age of the pandemic.” What does all of that mean, really?
I know it means something different for each person. Some friends are thriving in their ability to stay home and really turn inward to themselves and find out who they want to be in the world.
And there are other friends who are itching to get out of their skin because they need the human connection to feel fully alive.
Both of these examples point out how people are seeing what they need for self-resiliency. To be resilient is like a rubber band, and its ability to stretch and go back to its original form. When we have a challenge in life, we’re being stretched to be able to manage it.
Some level of stretch is really healthy for us. For example, in goal setting or growth. When you set a goal that is just inside that zone of discomfort, you have to work just enough to get to it that you end up making the stretch of what you believe you’re capable of a little bit bigger.
When your “cup” gets bigger in this way, you’re able to take on challenges that you may have not thought possible a year ago. You start building trust in your abilities that you didn’t have before.
Let’s consider what happens when we say someone “snapped!” This is when the rubber band has been either stretched out beyond what is sustainable for its elastic fibers really quickly or even for too long and then more stretch was put on it and it simply broke.
Sometimes it doesn’t break and it snaps back trying really, really hard to get back to its original resting state. I think that’s what most people do when they “take a break.”
Do we ever really get back to that original state? I think about the wonky rubber bands that have just been stretched for too long.
Self-Fulfillment and Balance
Calming the emotional storm that rears up when the rubber band is stretched to its capacity can show up in many ways, either destructive or constructive.
The more you pay attention to what positively fills your emotional cup, the more you find ways to calm the storm just as the winds start to blow. This takes a lot of awareness, and most parents can see it in their kids as the emotions shift.
If you’re not a parent, think for a moment about how the experience of “hangry” can turn from a slight irritation to a full-blown hurricane of irrationality in a matter of moments!
Self-fulfillment is living in tune with your desires and what you want out of your life. It’s about taking responsibility for your choices and choosing to act from your core values.
For me, I value connection to nature, time with my family, and creativity. These are a few of the core values that fill my emotional cup.
I’m lucky enough to have a profession that allows me to be creative every day and also gives me a chance to bring creativity into nature at the same time. Some people don’t have that option in their lives.
For example, you may have a job that isn’t fulfilling to you with regards to what you’re doing. Instead of focusing on the work, how can your perspective open up to choosing actions within that work that come from one of your core values?
Turning a Challenge into a Curiosity
I was working with a family for their portraits and one of the kiddos kept running away from the camera, threatening to get their clothes dirty in the nearby dirt pile. The parents were ok at first and rolled well with it, and then you could see their limits were being fully stretched.
Right here, there’s a choice to snap or stop and look for another way for the rubber band to move, to use what’s left in the emotional cup and put it to use.
If, for example, the connection to others, joy, or love were part of the parent’s core values and they had tapped into this, they could ask, “How can I act from a place of connection, joy, or love in this situation?”
What would have been different if this had happened instead of forcing the child back into the “ideal” place with tears of frustration and adrenaline coursing through everyone there?
Stopping when you feel the threat of snapping and checking in with those core values can give you a surprisingly new perspective. That was the chance to follow the wild child to the dirt pile and get pictures that fully express the reflection of those core values and have everyone laughing and creating a memorable experience.
Tuning Out the Noise
Distractions and noise come in many different forms, and they usually show up when you aren’t connected to those core pieces of who you are.
Your emotional cup fills up every time you say yes to options and opportunities that reflect your core values. Every time you put your core values and beliefs into action, you start connecting your brain to what it feels like to be self-fulfilled.
You build trust within yourself. Your kids see it, and start doing the same thing (they’re great mimickers). The people you work with see it, and it’s wild how people are attracted to and trust more when you’re connected to that part of you.
That noise can be you choosing to live from social expectations that aren’t in alignment with your own expectations. Or behaving in a way that would make “your mother proud” but stifles your creativity.
These are just examples of what noise can look like. I’m sure if you take just a moment, you can very quickly identify where you put your square peg into a round hole, and where the vitality that makes you uniquely you starts getting siphoned out of your emotional cup.
Tuning Into Life
On the drive to Moab for our Spring Break and Glow-In-The-Dark Easter Egg Hunt, I can feel the excitement building for the opportunity to take in the fresh air, the vast horizons, and time with family and close friends.
We create time that brings us closer together and closer to ourselves. This is how I fill my emotional cup, and when I can’t go out to do it, I find ways to create it in my kitchen (as you can see in my food blogs!)
What are ways that you tune back into the vision of your life? Do you bring self-care into your daily routine? Do you have a positivity folder like Loni Brown? Or do you take yourself back to the moments when you were fully in love with your life?
Capturing you and your family in your element, in the ups and downs of life, chasing each other around, falling in love in a moment, the tenderness of your newborn sleeping, are all ways that fill my cup and give you an image to hold onto when you need the reminder of your deepest desires of love, connection, and joy.
I can’t wait to capture it for you year after year as you grow and change and keep fulfilling your dreams.
Send me an email with “Fill My Cup” in the subject line, and let’s set up a time for us to get out into the spring and summer air for your family’s event or portraits.
Cheers!
~Kim
This peek into Kim’s life was brought to you by Emily Kamala. Emily is a freelance writer and life coach who loves to share stories, write blogs, and experience life so fully she has to bring it to life on the page. If you’re interested in reading more of her work, you can visit: ConsciousLivingLLC.com
Kim Morgan has brought her passion for connecting and telling stories through photography to life. Her ability to put you and your family at ease is so palpable you don’t even realize she’s behind the camera getting those precious moments for you to carry with you many years later. She lives in Colorado with her husband, son, and dog, where they enjoy exploring the mountains and laughing at every opportunity. Her website is KWDesignsPhotography.com to see her amazing work and set up your session!
