Deepen Your Connection with a Handwritten Letter
As I sit down to begin writing this I find myself craving some red Kool-Aid with ice cubes broken out of the ice tray klinking around in my Muppets glass that I got from Arbys, or Pizza Hut, or who remembers where.
I can almost taste the sweetness of it. Is it because it’s summer and I’m tired of drinking water? Or does it have something to do with getting letters from school friends away for the summer?
There’s something special about waiting for the mailman to come. The rush to the mailbox before they even get to opening it and smiling a big, red-stained, toothy grin hoping to find a letter with my name scrawled on the front.
I loved curling up and reading what friends were up to in some special private spot. As I got older, and drank less Kool-Aid, I have those special memories of getting letters from a boyfriend, or a dear friend I had met in college.
Then the best letters were from a grandparent, or favorite aunt sharing something special or even just wishing me a happy birthday with that little extra love note tucked into the card.
Sterilization of Letterwriting
I have boxes of these letters that I loved receiving. A lot like the boxes of VHS tapes or old photographs that have been restored, these letters hold memories that I could never get back otherwise and can even pass down to my son (hopefully he can read cursive!).
Nowadays with kids not even learning cursive, writing is taking a back seat to using the keyboard or swiping and predictive text. With programs automatically editing spelling and AI filling in what it thinks we ought to say, or consistently type out in communication, we are undoing centuries of brain wiring.
What else are we unwiring in our brains?
How easy is it to delete messages from others and never have the opportunity to read through them again? Or to multitask while reading an email and never fully absorb what someone is trying to convey?
What about how easy it is to filter what we’re saying, to type, edit, type, and edit again? Whereas in a handwritten letter we get to see the crossing out and the stumbling around of thought as it finds the right way to convey itself.
Have you ever received the letter with tears smearing the ink, or coffee stains in a corner, and ever so rarely thought of anymore...the perfume or cologne of the sender? Sometimes you can just smell the person, because their home has its own peculiar scent that brings you closer to them. Yes, I’m thinking of my grandma!!
I wonder if my child will ever know the joys of this pastime. Writing his own letters to friends that have moved or family far away. Will he ever get a letter from a girlfriend in her own scrawl that shakes as she tells him how she feels? None of these things are conveyed in an email unless the sending is a phenomenal writer and unapologetically honest.
The Value of a Handwritten Letter
Before writing this, I wanted to see what the internet experts had to say about the handwritten letter. I found a great blog by Esther Perel, and another from PBS (links at the end of the blog).
“Letters are where we attempt to tell the truth and wait.”
-Willie Perdomo
They all shared similar thoughts on the subject. The memories that we hold are more vivid, the ability to reflect and re-read, and the tactile sensations of the letter (smell, texture, shapes of the letters) all give life to the letter that isn’t as readily available through technology.
The time and care that is taken when sending a letter in today’s pace of life holds even more meaning that it may have when letter writing was the only way to communicate. Consider that telephones were not commonplace in US households until just after World War II, less than 100 years ago.
Now my 11 year old is asking for his own phone to take to school!! Evolutionarily, our brains are so far from catching up to what technology now offers it’s a wonder how our emotional and social development will look in just 20 years.
The value of a handwritten letter, if you haven’t gotten it yet, is in the connection that is created through the time, intention, purposefulness, and having to wait for a response, if any, longer than a few minutes to a few hours.
We get to experience the joy and excitement of sending something off and considering the excitement of the receiver. A handwritten letter in today’s age is a little package of joy. It can be a heartfelt apology, moment of accountability, loving closure, or acknowledgement of the place the other person holds in your heart and life.
While reading “The 5 Regrets of the Dying” the author shared her memory of her grandmother passing away and receiving a letter from her three days after her death. There’s no email or text message that can hold the same level of experience and value for the receiver of that letter.
Slow Down and Create Joy
While so many people say 2020 made them slow down and consider life more fully, I wonder now that we’re mid 2021 and life is getting back to “normal,” is the hustle and bustle back?
Did we learn the value of a slower pace or are we back to the grindstone and getting after whatever it is we need more of?
I encourage you to go to the post office and find out what stamps they have available. Then go to any store and get a package of letters and envelopes. You can sit down once a week or once a month and decide who you want to send a smile to. Who do you want to impact this month or this week?
It can be as simple as, “Just sending you a hello to let you know you’re on my mind!” Or leave one in your partner’s underwear drawer telling them your memory of how you first recognized that you loved them.
Or if you had a wild 2020 and your circle of friends expanded to an international status, then find out their address and mail these new friends a note. It’s so much fun to send an international letter that takes weeks to arrive. You’ll probably forget you sent it until you get an enthusiastic text message or video message.
There are so many ways to make sending letters fun. If you have kids, this is a great way for them to practice their handwriting and experience the joy of getting letters in return. Even if grandma lives on the other side of town, it’s still exciting to get the letter covered in stickers or drawings of a 4 year old.
And just think about sending that envelope covered in the joy of a child? Who else does that impact? That mail person who isn’t used to seeing kids waiting at the mailbox with drink stained mouths and grins a mile wide.
Cheers!
~Kim
This peek into Kim’s world was brought to you by Emily Kamala. Emily is a freelance writer and life coach who loves to share stories, write blogs, and experience life so fully she has to bring it to life on the page. If you’re interested in reading more of her work, you can visit: ConsciousLivingLLC.com
Kim Morgan has brought her passion for connecting and telling stories through photography to life. Her ability to put you and your family at ease is so palpable you don’t even realize she’s behind the camera getting those precious moments for you to carry with you many years later. She lives in Colorado with her husband, son, and dog, where they enjoy exploring the mountains and laughing at every opportunity. Her website is KWDesignsPhotography.com to see her amazing work and set up your session!
The Value of Letter Writing by Esther Perel
Poet Willie Perdomo on the value of writing letters in a digital world